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A woman hugged her partner close
And whispered in his ear
No one heard the words she chose
Save whom she called dear
With those words in mind he rose
And took a breath of daring
And looked around at all of those
His words would not be sparing
It has been just a decade
Since the day that they had met
Under moonlight, in the hidden glade
Two hearts could not forget:

A lonesome spring was looming
Lonely winter it had been
For a young manís life was blooming
Like a king without his queen
A part was absent in his life
That heíd sought all these years
A woman that would be his wife
And love away his fears
But none heíd seen thus far
Shared the longing in his eyes
They would leave his heart to mar
And destroy him with goodbyes

So one day in that lonely chill
A tale would seek his ears
Of something that would inspire will
And forsake his lonely fears
It was said that during the dying week
Of the frost-filled months of late
Erosí star would be there to seek
To seal a forlorn fate
It was the only star of its kind
Thatís lived up to what was said
Glinting from its star filled rind
And glowing a deeper red

A fairy tale it must have been
The manís heart heavy growing
The night sky veiled his scarlet scene
With Erosí star not showing
Snowís final week showed its face
To the city of lonely heart
Eros would shine his light of grace
And the lonesome would depart
He slept by day and ran by night
A crusade of blinded passion
Following that of hope and light
In a romantic sort of fashion

The air was clear and cold to feel
In the musing of his land
The present air felt much more real
Now mixed with heat and sand
Still the desperate sought the star
In the resentment of the dark
It seemed to twinkle just too far
For the hopeful to embark
With his water and food but spent
In the middle of the waste
It did not matter how far he went
For despair to be replaced

For one full week he chased it
Until at last his hope gave in
As Eros covered what he had lit
So the ending could begin
There in a nightís early hour
His feelings shed and fell
Unaware of an ancient power
And the beginning of a spell
The sand mimicked the starry sky
As it twinkled with a light
That from the ground rose up high
To blind the weepers sight

A rumbling and scaling
Followed the earthbound aura
The ascending light was failing
To reveal a spread of flora
He witnessed an answered prayer
His mind carried out a duty
Standing in the glade so fair:
A statue of frozen beauty
The statue stared into the night
With her hands joined in plea
Around her neck hung Erosí light
The star he couldnít see

Grass brushed his moving feet
In this world to him unknown
As he propelled himself to meet
That gift of crafted stone
He embraced her figure thin
And surveyed her stony eyes
The stone was melting into skin
Touch casting off her guise
Her eyes turned a gleaming jade
And her dress a misty white
The garments stone would slowly fade
Now billowing in the night

They stood there, both connected
Both drenched in pale light
From the moon that still protected
The scene from velvet night
The manís breath began to haste
The womanís heart would follow
The week of desert he had faced
Left him feeling hollow
No longer could his legs support
The desire of his heart
The moment had become too short
As death tore them apart

The desert laughed with callous gust
As it blew right through the man
And took away his brave robust
To destroy a loverís plan
A desperate man no longer
But a victim of the sand
There was only one thing stronger
Than the desertís last demand
The statue; now awoken
Held the still and grey romantic
His love for her unspoken
Her heart was growing frantic

The decades she had waited
For a heart to break the spell
The stone had been sedated
Yet that heart bade her farewell
A lonely life she would refuse
Her necklace glowing brightly
With the magic she would use
She held her lover tightly
She kissed him with a vital zeal
With a will defying fate
Magic had a death to heal
She prayed it not too late

The red necklace began to dim
As she withdrew her kiss
Erosí magic was kind to him
Wrenched him from abyss
His lungs began to heave
And his heart began to pound
He felt the fabric of her sleeve
And made a groaning sound
His sight dived into pools of jade
As he started into her eyes
He left the deserts plight to fade
Lost in romancing ties

He drew her closer by her arms
Awoken from his sleep
They embraced in the glade of charms
Joy forced them to weep
The night seemed to never end
As they joined hands and walked
The glade seemed to grow and bend
As the couple kissed and talked
They didnít stop and observe
That they walked a path of grass
That as they walked it would preserve
But behind them it would pass

Now his longing had been met
Heíd no longer feel alone
I donít suppose he would forget
That figure of printed stone
She fell in love with this man
That travelled the desert vast
That yearning she could understand
From the silence of her past
Now they shared that longing
And hearts began their mending
Their love would be belonging
And ensure a happy ending

A sigh of awe would issue
From our table of attention
Eyes were dabbed with tissue
At this tale of ascension
The couple held each other close
As proof they wouldnít part
And with their drinks make a toast:
To the journey of a heart
The Couple's tale.
Yes its the mushy one and ended up longer than the last despite my efforts.
;) wanted to add a bit more

I'm going to give all my stories a subtitle now, might catch peoples eyes a bit more:

Also here's a link to the other parts of the story

Il Anor I: [link]

Il Anor II [link]

Enjoy or Don't

Jaz
Add a Comment:
 
:iconlisolette-anwe:
Lisolette-Anwe Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2006   Writer
I love this piece. It has such a strong, old world, bardic feel to it. It is my favorite type of story telling. Excellent work, such dedication you must have put into these pieces. Lovely.

My only complaint is how the first few stanzas struggled to keep a rhyme, they were slightly awkward. All the same, a lovely piece.
Reply
:icongarnet-43:
Garnet-43 Featured By Owner Jul 27, 2006
A truly enchanting love story. :heart:

Your capability to fit rhyme and rhythm together in the telling of a story has improved since the first chapter. There are far fewer incidences where the sense is stretched, or the flow is not smooth.

Most enjoyable.
Reply
:iconjazblack009:
jazblack009 Featured By Owner Jul 28, 2006   Writer
i think if you can read it aloud, without stopping and going back to double check if the rhythm is stuffed, its worthy of being titled and put up here on DA.
it seems to be the favotite so far the couples story glad you enjoyed it
Reply
:iconjyesunmin:
jyesunmin Featured By Owner Apr 25, 2006
stunned and looking forward to the next installment
Reply
:iconjazblack009:
jazblack009 Featured By Owner May 18, 2006   Writer
I wish i could give it to you, its now May and i wanted to put in the last one 2 months ago, i'm just stuck on the ending >.<
thanks for your support, and thanks again for bothering to read so much, i'll hae to return the favour soon.
Reply
:iconladylincoln:
LadyLincoln Featured By Owner Mar 7, 2006  Hobbyist Writer
Very impressive poem/story..I like the tones in it...very elegant
Reply
:iconjazblack009:
jazblack009 Featured By Owner Nov 2, 2006   Writer
thanks a bunch my friend
for reading and commenting
Reply
:iconwarhammer89:
Warhammer89 Featured By Owner Mar 6, 2006
Wow!!! Seriously this is great!! I'm not gonna :+fav: it, cause I havnt read your other stuff, but mind of I ~watch you??

Great work :clap:
Reply
:iconjazblack009:
jazblack009 Featured By Owner Mar 6, 2006   Writer
No problem man, i would greatly appretiate a :+fav: though :XD:
when you have a spare moment have a squiz at the rest, no rush and thank you very much for reading it!
its hard to get people to read it for it's length.
i'll have to return that :+devwatch: favor
Reply
:iconrobino:
Robino Featured By Owner Mar 4, 2006  Hobbyist Writer
This is certainly the best part, just because the flow and the rhyming is one of the best I have ever seen. You really surprised me with this ending too and I like it! Favo worthy again, like the other parts!
Reply
:iconjazblack009:
jazblack009 Featured By Owner Mar 4, 2006   Writer
>.< thanks a bunch Rob
where would i be without you're support?
Reply
:iconrobino:
Robino Featured By Owner Mar 5, 2006  Hobbyist Writer
Hehehe without my support you would still be a great writer with loads of fans!
Reply
:iconjazblack009:
jazblack009 Featured By Owner Mar 7, 2006   Writer
:lol: you're too kind :nod:
thanks again.
Reply
:iconthreenil78:
Threenil78 Featured By Owner Mar 4, 2006
that poem has a very strong feeling too it.
Reply
:iconjazblack009:
jazblack009 Featured By Owner Mar 6, 2006   Writer
thank you ^_^
things like that are good to know.

thank you for you opinion.
Reply
:iconthreenil78:
Threenil78 Featured By Owner Mar 7, 2006
your welcome
Reply
:iconfusion-defiance:
Fusion-Defiance Featured By Owner Mar 4, 2006  Hobbyist General Artist
luffly. i like it.
Reply
:iconjazblack009:
jazblack009 Featured By Owner Mar 4, 2006   Writer
Many thanks :bow:
And thank you very much for the :+fav:
They are very precious to me :XD:
Reply
:iconcowluva:
cowluva Featured By Owner Mar 3, 2006
great rhyme scheme and story, you don't compromise any of what you want to say simple to fit the rhyme, that's really impressive. great story in itself!
Reply
:iconjazblack009:
jazblack009 Featured By Owner Mar 3, 2006   Writer
^_^ thank you
Reply
:iconanimegirlmika:
AnimeGirlMika Featured By Owner Mar 2, 2006  Professional General Artist
Ah, I liked this one very much, even more so than the first ^^ I love fantasy, and magic, and the power of those things we cannot harness with science, and this poem had all of them. You painted a very lively and colorful picture in my mind's eye, very great work with your vocabulary. The only suggestions I have for you are these two spelling errors:

As it blew right threw the man
through

Then the desertís last demand
Than
Reply
:iconjazblack009:
jazblack009 Featured By Owner Mar 2, 2006   Writer
:XD: i thought it was void of that kind of stuff :no:
thanks for showing me that.

I love that fantasy stuff too, it imagination candy, and makes for great stories.
thanks for the comments
Reply
:iconstiletto--love:
stiletto--love Featured By Owner Mar 2, 2006   Writer
Wow, Iím definitely envious of your talent with words, stories and imagery. Your work is most definitely higher level than most of what I have read on DA. You have a strong balanced structure which provides familiarity while steering away from repetition. None of your rhymes feel forced; they flow well together. The only real suggestion I could even think of giving you would maybe be punctuation. Not totally necessary especially as with your strong structure. It divides the poem quite effectively without the use of punctuation. Beautiful work.
Reply
:iconjazblack009:
jazblack009 Featured By Owner Mar 2, 2006   Writer
:) thank you
Spacing and presenting my work is a little tedious, i tend to end the stanza when the imagery or description in it does.
But thank you again for your positive feedback, it is deeply appreciated.
and thank you for reading the whole thing ^^
Reply
:iconustion:
ustion Featured By Owner Mar 1, 2006  Student
This part of Il Anor is extreamly amazing, the way you have described their romance and his longing really makes the reader really feel the mood of the story, especially when you get to the end stanza when is says
"The couple held each other close
As proof they wouldnít part
And with their drinks make a toast:
To the journey of a heart"

Tis indeed a very touching story.. I read the this part of Il Anor listening to "Terence Blanchar - Openeing theme" from the movie 15th hour. and for some reason it really suited the story and gave it extra depth.. "like it really needed" it any way cos it is extremly fabulous, on that note of the song if I were to make a movie or short film to this poem I would use that song.. yeah well I'm just rambeling on now so yeah..

GREAT WORK JAZ!! sorry I didnt read it earlier been very busy.. :)
Reply
:iconjazblack009:
jazblack009 Featured By Owner Mar 1, 2006   Writer
Tis Ok, i understand.
I'm glad you had time to in the end though ;)
can't say i've heard of the song, but i will check it out if it suits the poetry.
thanks for the :+fav: aswell
always a pleasure to read your comments my friend.
Reply
:iconbeautifullywasted:
BeautifullyWasted Featured By Owner Feb 28, 2006
Ok so I read through all the parts and wow. You are quite a story teller ^_^. This part especially is wonderfully written and like I sadi the rhyme scheme makes it flow easily, especialy when you rerad it out loud. I can tell you put a lot of work into this. I'll :+fav: this part cause it's my favorite part. =D
Reply
:iconjazblack009:
jazblack009 Featured By Owner Feb 28, 2006   Writer
Your read all of it?
^_^ thank you so much!
I'm glad you enjoyed this part so much, and yeh, i have put heaps into this
there are atleast 3 more parts to come :XD:
hope you will enjoy some of the other parts aswell ;)
Reply
:iconbeautifullywasted:
BeautifullyWasted Featured By Owner Feb 28, 2006
hope to read it soon ^_^
Reply
:iconhexbox:
hexbox Featured By Owner Feb 28, 2006
I think it takes alot of talent to be able to produce a narrative piece of poetry that legnthy with as great of a rhyme sceme as it has. When reading it, you never get the sense that your searching for something to rhyme with another word. Thats some real talent you've got.
Reply
:iconjazblack009:
jazblack009 Featured By Owner Feb 28, 2006   Writer
Thanks you very much, among some of the compliments one can get, that is as good as any.
I love doing this, story telling in this style, and the rewards of doing it are the reactions of those who read it.
Thank you not only for the comment, but for reading it, i hope you stick around for the rest :D
Reply
:iconjazblack009:
jazblack009 Featured By Owner Feb 25, 2006   Writer
Ah i get to correct the critic :XD:
this isn't a trilogy, this goes much longer.
I think i will edit that last stanza if you believe it sticks out
seeing as you're the only person to read the whole thing so far.
Thankyou very much for your critic, i'd very much appretiate you to hang around for the rest of Il Anor.
My Poetry needs more of the constructive kind of critiscm
Reply
:iconamber-m-forrester:
Amber-M-Forrester Featured By Owner Feb 25, 2006
To me this is the best part of the trilogy. Again, the rhyming scheme is good (tightening it up does wonders), in comparison to the earlier two parts of the trilogy. I suppose I like this one better because of the theme, and you do have some catchy parts (the second stanza).

"A sigh of awe would issue
From our table of attention
Eyes were dabbed with tissue
At this tale of ascension"

I would beware of lines like these though. It comes off as if you're desperate to throw any rhyme together (the issue and tissue part). Narratives usually suffer this problem (like my own "Dear Goddess" poem.) If it doesn't seem continous and natural, it will stick out like a sore thumb.
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